Today is a big day for me. As I sit here surrounded by green bags full of cds, books and dvds, boxes and bags full of clothes and packed up furniture and beds I smile as I look to the future. I'm shopping today for new household items, furniture and other fun things I seem to do whenever I move. Will I be content this time though. A house to finally call a home, somewhere I'll look forward to coming back to after each days adventures.
Today I woke up realising it's time to shop for other things too. My head is so strong right now but my heart still awakes so heavy every morning. It's an exciting time as I have a new home, a new band, new places I am off to adventure and tour, new venues to destroy as I play my heart out, shit I even have a new phone to play with, but why is there still a void ever so empty, ever so lonely? Is it love I still crave? Is it happiness? Is it more achievement and success?
The last couple of months have really opened my eyes as to who will truly remain in my life through thick and thin coming into the new year. It kills me to think of those I know won't be around or ones I've lost, but I really should look onto the future and finding and meeting more beautiful people to sweep my head, heart and therefore soul away. Going back home, Melbourne,Asia and London are all on the near futures cards so surely joy awaits me.
I once wrote, is craving substance worth feeling alone? I guess If I just enjoyed what I had I would be happier although quite bored. I love the challenge, the chase, the adventure and that ever deepening hole I find myself in while on the search for substance. A hole now that seems far too hard to climb myself out of.
I think back to lifes hardships and disappointments this year and I end it all with a smile knowing I'm so much fucking stronger and better for it. Nothing can stop me now, I will keep dancing my way through this life with no regrets and second guessing. Wanting, having, missing, loving and hurting will always be that devil on my shoulder though I've battled demons before, I will let my pen be mightier than my sword.
Everything is in it's right place. I bid farewell to a year of turbulance x
Today I woke up realising it's time to shop for other things too. My head is so strong right now but my heart still awakes so heavy every morning. It's an exciting time as I have a new home, a new band, new places I am off to adventure and tour, new venues to destroy as I play my heart out, shit I even have a new phone to play with, but why is there still a void ever so empty, ever so lonely? Is it love I still crave? Is it happiness? Is it more achievement and success?
The last couple of months have really opened my eyes as to who will truly remain in my life through thick and thin coming into the new year. It kills me to think of those I know won't be around or ones I've lost, but I really should look onto the future and finding and meeting more beautiful people to sweep my head, heart and therefore soul away. Going back home, Melbourne,Asia and London are all on the near futures cards so surely joy awaits me.
I once wrote, is craving substance worth feeling alone? I guess If I just enjoyed what I had I would be happier although quite bored. I love the challenge, the chase, the adventure and that ever deepening hole I find myself in while on the search for substance. A hole now that seems far too hard to climb myself out of.
I think back to lifes hardships and disappointments this year and I end it all with a smile knowing I'm so much fucking stronger and better for it. Nothing can stop me now, I will keep dancing my way through this life with no regrets and second guessing. Wanting, having, missing, loving and hurting will always be that devil on my shoulder though I've battled demons before, I will let my pen be mightier than my sword.
Everything is in it's right place. I bid farewell to a year of turbulance x
beautiful.
ReplyDeleteyou're all grown up <3